So, here we are, six weeks into 2016 and I'm finally getting some goals sorted in my head. Things are still bumpy but I'm feeling ever-so-slightly better. At least I've got my motivation back, even if I've accepted that I need to stop pushing myself quite so hard and give in to the frequent necessity to burrow away and hide. Fortunately, I've mastered the art of relaxation. Way back before Christmas I got a new bed and reorganised my room. It's now much more comfortable and devoid of 'proper' work. I sit up there listening to music and watching my water-effect speakers, colouring, reading and writing fan fic. It's a little retreat and I'm building something of a postcard collection on the walls - John Atkinson Grimshaw and Rita Hayworth - brilliant bedfellows.
These are tentative goals centred on a couple of areas of my life that I have control over. As things stand, I have a trickle of money coming in from freelance writing and tutoring work. It's not a lot but enough to cover my meagre expenses and ensure I can still visit Create for my afternoons of writing. I need to work on my long-term plan but, really, thinking along those lines was proving unhelpful so, for the time being, short-term goals are best.
'Max' Fourth Draft - I've had fun and games with this one in the last few months (see here and here) but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It knows what it's doing and my aim is to finish the fourth draft by the end of February. It's currently at 43,046 words and I've got clear plans for the rest of the draft. It's half-editing and half-rewriting huge chunks but I'm confident I can make a huge dent in that in the next three weeks.
'Danni' Seventh Draft - I stopped mid-draft last year, having done most of the difficult rewriting but I'd gotten bogged down with the close editing. This one's at 54,342 words and it's reasonable to say I could complete it by the end of March.
Other Novel Drafts - There are nine of these in various stages of rewriting. I listed them comprehensively last July when I was in a better frame of mind and I think the order of priority probably still sticks. If you add in my aborted NaNo project, 'Jess', then that's actually ten and that's a bit scarier. Optimistically, I'd like to work on four of them this year - 'Liz' has a complete plan and needs the second draft completing, 'Izzy' and 'Vic' need the second drafts planning and writing and 'Kathy' is a fragment of a first draft that needs rewriting in first person and completing. We'll see. If I can keep myself in the writing zone then anything's possible.
Short Stories - I didn't submit any short stories in the last three months of 2015. I've already taken steps to remedy this and submitted three in January whilst devoting more time to my short story writing, rewriting and editing processes. I've got a little notebook that lists which stories are at what stage - 'Ready', 'Final Touches', 'Line Edits', 'Rewriting in Progress', 'To Rewrite' and 'Unsure'. Currently, I've got four that are ready to submit and three more that are nearly there. It's time to go through my list of magazines and competitions and find some appropriate venues and, if there aren't any right now, they'll pop up eventually. I'm not putting a figure on the number of stories I want to submit or write but I do want the list to be moving.
Academic Work - Now, this is where I'm completely at sea. I'm deliberately not attending conferences this year as I just can't do it and my academic work's stalled somewhat. I've got one half-written paper, plans for several others and I wanted to rewrite and edit two chapters of my thesis to submit to journals. So what happened? Well, my anxiety kicked in. The fact that it's a year ago this week that I submitted my thesis isn't helping, nor is the fact that my certificate arrived in the post this week. I couldn't make it to graduation because of, yep, anxiety so it doesn't really feel as though I've achieved anything. Actually, it feels like a colossal waste of a chunk of my life right now. I have no idea what happens next with my academic work but the frustrating thing is that I still have ideas for papers and the desire to research. I'm a contradiction.
Anyway, with a bit of luck I'll manage to pull at least some of this off. I nabbed myself a cheap gym membership to get me out of the house and filled a playlist full of cheesy pop like Steps, SClub7 and Boyzone to get me through it. About a third of the songs on there are by The Nolans (and, as I'm typing this my iPod's thrown their 'Song Sung Blue' at me from over 8300+ choices) so at least I can have some fun whilst exercising. There's something especially amusing about listening to 'Don't Make Waves' whilst on the rowing machine - or is that just me?
I think, after the last few days, the word I'm looking for is definitely 'whoa'.
The big news is that on Friday I passed my viva with minor corrections. The extra-special viva playlist obviously worked. It contains all my magic powers and if I ever go anywhere without it I'll lose my doctorate... Fortunate that my headphones are surgically attached to my skull then, isn't it?
Five minutes before my viva I was having a major wobble and, unsurprisingly, music dragged me through it. These two songs got me in the lift and through the door. Betty Blue Eyes and Merrily We Roll Along - who'd have thunk?
Thanks to everyone for helping me on Friday, especially my dad, Sal, Claire and my brilliant supervisor. A few drinks were in order and, to celebrate, I even had a pink cocktail. This is me, said cocktail and Edmund, my present from Sal:
So after all that excitement on Friday, I was wondering why I'd agreed to read a short story out at the Jackanory event on Saturday. The piece I regaled them with was 'Shredded Timbers', my prize-winning story from a few months ago. I think the reading went well though, I have to say, I was still a little bit bemused from the day before!
However, the twists and turns of life may have thrown something else in my path. Let's just say that if I was looking for the reason why I made the rather silly decision to attend Jackanory the day after my viva, I found it. As ever, Sondheim says it best...
Me and music is one of those long-lasting affections. It'll outlast all my relationships, mean more to me than most things in this world and keep me going through troubled times. Usually, it perks me up, reminds me that there's something worth carrying on for. In compiling this playlist - designed to keep me positive - I had to dispense with many songs I consider favourites because they're so sad. You'd expect there to be more Judy here, for instance, but Judy invariably breaks my heart.
So here is my extra special playlist, split into categories. I realised pretty quickly that anything connected to Jerry Herman and Stephen Sondheim needed to be in its own categories. Those two masters of the musical have a lot to answer for. My adoration of Merrily We Roll Along, in particular, is on display.
Classic Musicals
'A Step in the Right Direction' - Bedknobs and Broomsticks
'Finale' - Call Me Madam
'Cactus Time in Arizona' - Girl Crazy
'Processional' - The Sound of Music
'Golden Ticket' - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
'If My Friends Could See Me Now' - Sweet Charity
'Portobella Road' - Bedknobs and Broomsticks
'Substitutiary Locomotion' - Bedknobs and Broomsticks
'The Turnable Song' - Something in the Wind
'Put On a Happy Face' - Bye Bye Birdie
'Rosie' - Bye Bye Birdie
'It's a Lovely Day Today' - Call Me Madam
'That's Entertainment' - The Bandwagon
'Pick Yourself Up' - Swing Time
'Moses' - Singin' in the Rain
'One Brick At a Time' - Barnum
'If I Ruled the World' - Pickwick
'Thank You Very Much' - Scrooge
'Stereophonic Sound' - Silk Stockings
'Come Follow the Band' - Barnum
'The Colours of My Life Reprise' - Barnum
'Museum Song' - Barnum
'Out There' - Barnum
'I Like Your Style' - Barnum
'On How to Be Lovely' - Funny Face
'No Way to Stop It' - The Sound of Music
'Leave It to the Ladies' - Blitz
'Down the Lane' - Blitz
'The Roses of Success' - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
'I Don't Care' - In the Good Old Summertime
'Ten Minutes Ago' - Cinderella
'Impossible' - Cinderella
'Join the Circus' - Barnum
Herman and Sondheim
'A Parade in Town' - Anyone Can Whistle
'Open a New Window' - Mame
'That's How Young I Feel' - Mame
'Suffragette March' - Mrs Santa Claus
'Whistle' - Mrs Santa Claus
'Bosom Buddies' - Mame
'Put On Your Sunday Clothes' - Hello, Dolly!
'Before the Parade Passes By' - Hello, Dolly!
'Some People' - Gypsy
'Mame' - Mame
'Chin Up, Ladies' - Milk and Honey
'Side by Side'/'What Would We Do Without You' - Company
'I Am What I Am' - La Cage aux Folles
'Something's Coming' - West Side Story
'Everybody Says Don't' - Anyone Can Whistle
'Just Go to the Movies' - A Day in Hollywood
'It's a Hit' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Tap Your Troubles Away' - Mack and Mabel
'Someone Woke Up' - Do I Hear a Waltz?
'Do I Hear a Waltz?' - Do I Hear a Waltz?
'Overture' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Now You Know' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Old Friends' - Merrily We Roll Along
'The Hills of Tomorrow'/'Merrily We Roll Along' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Our Time' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Opening Doors' - Merrily We Roll Along
'Ever After' - Into the Woods
Modern Musicals
'Human Again' - Beauty and the Beast
'Just Around the Corner' - The Addams Family
'Where Did We Go Wrong' - The Addams Family
'Walk Through the Fire' - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
'This Is My Life' - Bad Girls: The Musical
'Once We Were Kings' - Billy Elliot
'This is the Moment' - Jekyll and Hyde
'I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do' - Mamma Mia!
'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' - Spamalot
'Bruce' - Matilda
'When I Grow Up' - Matilda
'One Normal Night' - The Addams Family
'One' - A Chorus Line
'Who's That Boy?' - Soho Cinders
'Steal the Pig' - Betty Blue Eyes
'Another Little Victory' - Betty Blue Eyes
'A Star is Born' - Hercules
'Nobody' - Betty Blue Eyes
'Anything Can Happen' - Mary Poppins
'Naughty' - Matilda
'You Can't Stop the Beat' - Hairspray
'Finale B' - Rent
'When I Find My Baby' - Sister Act
'Raise Your Voice' - Sister Act
'Sunday Morning Fever' - Sister Act
'Spread the Love Around' - Sister Act
'Come So Far (Got So Far to Go)' - Hairspray
'You Shall Go to the Ball' - Soho Cinders
'Long As I'm Here With You' - Thoroughly Modern Millie
'How the Other Half Lives' - Thoroughly Modern Millie
'For Now' - Avenue Q
Jazz, Easy Listening Etc
'Take a Look' - Alison Jiear
'Don't Fence Me In' - The Andrews Sisters and Bing Crosby
'In the Mood' - Bette Midler
'Zing a Little Zong' - Bing Crosby
'Walkin' My Baby Back Home' - Bing Crosby and Judy Garland
'Don't Rain On My Parade' - Bobby Darin
'Taking the World By Storm' - Bonnie Langford
'I'm On My Way' - The Cliff Adams Singers
'High Hopes' - Doris Day
'Something's Gotta Give' - Ella Fitzgerald
'I've Gotta Be Me' - Glee Cast
'The Way You Look Tonight'/'You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile' - Glee Cast
'In the Mood' - Glenn Miller
'American Patrol' - Glenn Miller
'Five Little Miles From San Berdoo' - Jane Russell
'I Concentrate On You' - Judy Garland
'Just in Time' - Judy Garland
'Who Cares?' - Judy Garland
'You've Got Me Where You Want Me' - Judy Garland and Bing Crosby
'New York, New York' - Liza Minnelli
'Hello, Dolly' - Liza Minnelli and Judy Garland
'Chicago' - Liza Minnelli and Judy Garland
'Gonna Build a Mountain' - Matt Monroe
'Dearie' - Ray Bolger and Ethel Merman
'Hey, Look Me Over' - Rosemary Clooney and Bing Crosby
Bits & Bobs
'That's Me' - ABBA
'We Didn't Start the Fire' - Billy Joel
'You May Be Right' - Billy Joel
'Birdhouse in Your Soul' - Kristin Chenoweth and Ellen Greene
The novel rewrite I'm working on at the moment is a tricky one. Of course, I didn't realise it was a tricky one until I got about 10,000 words into it. That was about the moment when I understood the mood I was going to have to get into it in order to make this story work properly. It needed resonance, emotional power. I've got through six drafts with this one but I knew there was something missing. It could be that I just didn't want to go to the place it took me to, but now I don't have much of a choice. Because, after all, if something is this painful to write then some good must be coming out of it, one way or another.
One of the central themes of this novel is rejection, which works on several levels. It's a dual timeline narrative and to say my protagonist is damaged in the front story would be an understatement. However, it took this draft for me to realise how damaged she is in the back story too. I suppose this is what happens when you spend five years with a character - it's a slow process of revealing the layers and reaching the core. The fact that I finished the first draft of this novel in June 2010 is scary, but it's one of those I'm determined to work on until I'm happy with it. As with all my novel drafts, even if I don't get them published, I want something that I'm eager to read every now and then.
As ever, I took refuge in music to work out what's going on with my protagonist. There are a couple of songs that fit where I'm heading with this story and how she reaches the end she does. One of those is 'Reason to Believe', my favourite version of which is by the wonderful Bobby Darin.
"If I gave you time to change my mind,
I'd find a way and I'd leave the past behind,
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried,
Still I'd look to find a reason to believe..."
The other song, unsurprisingly, comes from one of my favourite musical scores, with music and lyrics by Jerry Herman. It's one of the most gut-wrenching songs I've ever heard and Bernadette Peters makes you feel every spasm of pain. In the end, the conclusion my protagonist comes to is that, once anger fades, the emotion it was concealing still remains. Because time heals everything except...
I'd better get back to work. If I don't finish this rewrite soon I'm going to be a wreck.
The Great Caruso stars Mario Lanza as the famous opera singer who grew up in Naples and then gradually won appreciation by the critics despite the fact he was a peasant. It documents the death of his mother and then his difficulties with the woman he first wants to marry before his career takes off. Then he meets Dorothy (Ann Blyth) and finds someone who, though she dislikes opera, can give him the support he needs.
From what I've read, this film isn't so much a biopic as a film loosely based on Caruso's life with plenty of songs thrown in. There isn't too too biography in there and that, I think, was what damaged my interest, especially in the first half of the film. It will appeal to those who want to hear numerous Caruso songs sung by Lanza but I struggled to care. Opera isn't really my thing, although I appreciated the scenes around his struggles rather than his successes. Lanza is excellent both in voice and body and certainly dominates the film.
The rest of the cast work well, although some of the faces Caruso surrounds himself with blend into one. Ann Blyth as Dorothy manages that remarkable feat of ageing on screen, first appearing as a young girl and evolving into Caruso's wife, and her performance is very enjoyable. However, I found that I was entranced by professional opera singer Dorothy Kirsten as Louise Heggar, an actress who only appeared in a handful of films but was prolific on the stage. The final scene between Kirsten and Lanza was memorable, not because of what it leads to but because of the delicate interplay between the pair.
While much of this film is played for dramatic effect, it's a good way to listen to Mario Lanza singing snippets of numerous songs and it's a fine way to while away an afternoon. Not one I'll be rewatching but that's down to personal preference more than anything.
The Glenn Miller Story is, unsurprisingly, a biopic of the legendary band leader starring James Stewart in the title role. It documents both his professional quest to find the perfect 'sound' and his relationship with his wife, Helen (June Allyson), and includes cameos from stars such as Louis Armstrong and Frances Langford.
This film gets off to a slow start, as many biopics are forced to do, and it's a bit of a stretch to believe Stewart as a young Miller but this becomes less important as time passes on. The first half documents Miller's struggles with his music while focusing a lot on the love story between Miller and Helen. Stewart and Allyson are pretty brilliant together, with an easy rapport that makes their relationship feel natural. In addition, Allyson has some excellent scenes without Stewart which give her the chance to flex her sarcastic muscles a little more.
The second half of the film is essentially what happens to Miller after he finds that perfect 'sound' and the success both before and during the war. Naturally, this part of the film is full of Miller's most famous numbers and it becomes toe-tappingly good very quickly. The performance of 'Moonlight Serenade' where everything finally goes right sent shivers up my spine.
Of course, everybody knows the end to the Glenn Miller story and, yes, I'll freely admit to shedding a few tears at the end. That this film was made only ten years after his disappearance probably accounts for the sentimentality of it but, nevertheless, it's a film that lovingly depicts one of the great musicians of the twentieth century. My favourite scene is probably the anniversary where Miller and Helen both surprise each other. In that scene the strands of Miller's story are intertwined completely and it's beautiful.
I frequently say, both aloud and in my head, that there's a song for every moment. As a rule, I've found it honest enough. There is generally a song that, if it doesn't encompass the moment, at least makes the moment bearable. That's why me and my iPod are pretty much inseparable - it can get me through the stickiest spots. There are a few songs I can usually rely on to make me smile with their energy; for instance, 'A Parade in Town' or 'High Hopes' or 'Our Time'. These galvanise me, dupe me into thinking I'm okay when I'm not. Sometimes they even manage to alter my mood properly.
But this time the old remedies aren't working. Me and my iPod aren't getting on. Oh, I'm still listening to it when I'm out because otherwise I'd have to deal with people and I listen to it at home to try and fool myself (Marni Nixon is currently singing 'I Whistle a Happy Tune' at me, for reference). But, for maybe the first time, music isn't really helping. Not music I know anyway. There are connotations there, links that would once have made me smile and now bring me perilously close to tears. Most of my Judy songs are off-limits. You can forget all about Liza and Ella Fitzgerald is breaking my heart daily. Everything I used to find comfort in is now increasing my pain.
So I've taken to YouTube a lot. My reasoning is that I'll listen to songs I don't know that well, then they can't have any resonance. For the most part, this has been working; however, when a song hits me, it really hits me. The other night though, while I was scrabbling around for another artist to search for, I landed on Anthony Newley. Of course, I wasn't about to click on 'What Kind of Fool Am I?' but there was one that drew me in, knowing it vaguely and wanting to be reminded. 'Who Can I Turn To?' is from The Roar of the Greasepaint - the Smell of the Crowd, a show I'm fairly unfamiliar with. I'm no longer unfamiliar with the song.
It's no exaggeration to say that I've listened to it thirty times now and sung it myself over and over and over again. It certainly sums up how I feel but I'm not sure it's doing me any good. It's crystallised my problem again, perhaps drawn me back into it (though that suggests I got away from it in the first place, something I don't believe).
There's one thing for sure - I can't stop listening to it.
At first I thought this list would be ten songs. But that was too constricting. So I bumped it up to twenty. Then that was too constricting. Even at twenty five I've had to miss out some gems including 'I Got Rhythm', 'Just You, Just Me', 'I Am Loved', 'Carolina in the Morning' and many others. It's astounding when you look at Judy's career how many brilliant renditions of songs she produced. Before anyone starts panicking, that song was included in another list so it won't be here. A few of these I hope you'll never have heard of - I do love introducing people to gorgeous Garland songs.
25. 'Just One of Those Things'
The reason I love this one is that Judy's humour shines though, along with the story that emerges as the song progresses. I can see her performing this if I close my eyes, it's such a quintessential Garland performance, and, listening to it now, I'm chuckling to myself.
24. 'San Francisco'
Once again, it's the humour that gets me here. She practically made this a signature song and it's another one that makes me smile frequently. I particularly love her duet with Liza (when she forgets some of the words) but every version's a delight. It's one of those songs I get the impression she really enjoyed singing.
23. 'Come Rain or Come Shine'
The arrangement of this is just luscious but, letting the bongos and Judy's voice do the majority of the work at the beginning. When it picks up, it becomes a standard brilliant rendition from Judy and the ending is magnificent.
22. 'Do It Again'
I actually prefer the slower version of this song, the one Judy sings with such yearning. It's such a delicate. The swifter version is good for toe-tapping but the emotion in this one is undeniable.
21. 'Day In, Day Out'
The orchestration on this is gorgeous, melding perfectly with Judy's voice. It's a delight to listen to, not too heavy but it tells that story that we're all aware of - wanting someone so much that it's all you think of. As with most subjects, Judy sings it best.
20. 'Me and My Shadow'
There aren't words to describe how difficult this song is to listen to. It's Judy at her most potently heartbreaking. The little chuckle at 'we never knock because nobody's there' sums up the song. There's nothing but pain and the loneliness it evokes is palpable.
19. 'On the Sunny Side of the Street'
From loneliness to optimism. I adore the clarity of Judy's voice in this number, along with the message of the song as a whole. The little swing towards the end makes it downright perfect.
18. 'Friendly Star'
Originally in Summer Stock, with or without the context this is a gorgeous song. It's another one of those wishful numbers, of a similar vein to 'Over the Rainbow', that Judy did so brilliantly.
17. 'Stormy Weather'
I remember thinking how good this song would be if Judy sang it - then I discovered the recording. As good as I thought it would be. If anyone can sing this song with the requisite amount of heart, it's Judy.
16. 'Get Happy'
I'm sure many will think this deserves a higher ranking and maybe it does but it's tied up with connotations of Judy's split with MGM for me. Throughout Summer Stock she looks reasonably comfortable, the extra weight suiting her because it looked as though she was healthy. Knowing the crash diet she was put on to get her in shape for this number pains me and, despite it being a brilliant song, it's coloured by that.
15. 'Mean to Me'
It's probably Judy's tone throughout this song that makes me love it so much. She's playful and the melody's playful but there's a serious undertone about being led round in circles. How it marries both of these things is still a mystery to me but, with Judy's voice, you can do most things.
14. 'After You've Gone'
Originally from For Me and My Gal, this song more than stands alone and it's gorgeous.
13. 'But Not For Me'
I think this one is just so wistful yet full of longing. Judy's young, pure voice puts it across wonderfully but it doesn't lose any of its power in later renditions.
12. 'I'm Confessin''
'Stunning' would be too simple a word to describe this one yet it's pretty much the only one I have. If I ever have the need to confess my love in future, I'm just going to play this song and let Judy say it for me.
11. 'Judy at The Palace Medley'
Listening to Judy's collection of Capitol recordings, this was one of the ones that captivated me. The arrangement by Roger Edens is superb and the songs chosen are beautiful. 'My Man' gives me shivers and it was in this song that I first got my tantalising taste of 'I Don't Care' and I loved it. That the song ends with Judy claiming her place amongst the greats is gorgeous, particularly the lines 'And so with deep humility I stand in front you / I'm proud to play The Palace, it's like a dream come true'. And you really get the feeling it is.
10. 'Love'
I have to say, I disliked this song for a few years. I think I needed time to understand it fully and maybe you only get there with life experience. It's now become one of my favourites, early or later versions. I adore the way Judy's voice slides around, mimicking what she's singing about.
9. 'Do I Love You?'
Another one of those swinging Capitol recordings where voice mingles perfectly with orchestration. The changes in tempo and volume work brilliantly and the ending is exquisite. I can never stop myself conducting along.
8. 'The Trolley Song'
Made famous by Meet Me in St. Louis, this is another song most identifiable with Judy and it really is one of her best. Energetic and beautiful, it never fails to make me smile.
7. 'It Never Was You'
From Judy last film, I Could Go On Singing, this is a haunting number about wanting real love and realising you haven't got it. Poignant, captivating, even heartbreaking, it is one of the highlights of Judy's career as far as I'm concerned.
6. 'I Concentrate On You'
Yet another of those brilliant Capitol pieces, this one swings and displays Judy's mature voice at its best, sliding around the scales as the song dictates. It's a gorgeous number and she concludes it in a fantastically strong manner - as usual.
5. 'Just in Time'
I believe this version of the song came from a concert recording when Judy had a sore throat or something similar. You can certainly hear that in the first half of the song but then...wow. When the audience breaks out into applause I always smile. It's like Judy's bursting into life in front of me. And the little discussion with the audience at the end just seals my adoration. Of course her audiences stick with her - she's magical, sore throat or no.
4. 'I've Confessed to the Breeze'
I probably like this song so much because Judy liked it so much. Over the years, I've grown to love it, the gentle lilt of Judy's voice throughout plus the message of loving someone so much and finally telling them is a potent mixture. It's such an undervalued song that the only Judy version on YouTube is as accompaniment to a music video I made myself a few years ago in celebration of Fingersmith. Anybody adverse to lady love probably shouldn't click the video below.
3. 'How Long Has This Been Going On?'
Carnegie Hall. Wow. This is my my joint favourite song to come out of that concert, mainly because Judy's voice puts the emotion across so brilliantly. She tells this story so well that I feel as though I've lived through it every time I listen to the song.
2. 'If Love Were All'
This Noel Coward song is one of the most beautiful Judy ever performed and is also part of the Carnegie Hall concert. Perhaps I love it so much because she conveys so much wisdom into the rendition but perhaps it's just because of the final lines she delivers so well - 'But I believe that since my life began / The most I've had is just a talent to amuse / Hi-ho, if love were all...'
1. 'I Could Go On Singing'
A strange number one or the natural choice? Whether intentionally or not, this song characterises Judy's career for me. She gave herself to her audience, singing and singing, giving us hour after hour of beautiful recordings and films. The emotion she piles into her music is found in this one as surely as any other and it's how I chose to remember her vocally. She could go on singing and we can go on listening. That's the kind of legacy she deserves.
It occurred to me yesterday, as I was pulling my iPod out of my pocket for the fifth time to find a more suitably-energetic song, that I really do need a gym playlist. I'd toyed with the idea over the weekend but nearly falling off the bike thanks to my distraction was the final straw. So I came home and put a couple together - 'Instrumental Gym' and 'Alternative Gym'. Now, I'll admit to cheating with the first one but I love the song so much (blame David Starkey's recent series for that) that it's a perfect start to an energetic biking routine.
Instrumental Gym
'Zadok the Priest'
'William Tell: Overture'
'Overture - Austerity Britain' from Betty Blue Eyes
'Overture' from Gypsy
'Overture' from Mack and Mabel
'Overture' from Mame
'In the Mood'by Glenn Miller
'American Patrol' by Glenn Miller
'Arrival' by ABBA
'The Carousel Waltz' from Carousel
'The March of the Siamese Children' from The King and I
Alternative Gym
'Come Follow the Band' from Barnum
'A Lot of Livin' To Do' from Bye Bye Birdie
'Ever After' from Into the Woods
'Impossible' from Cinderella
'A Parade in Town' from Anyone Can Whistle
'Join the Circus' from Barnum
'Lionheart' by Betty Blue Eyes
'You Can't Stop the Beat' from Hairspray
'Big Time' from Mack and Mabel
'Something's Gotta Give' by Ella Fitzgerald
'I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do' from Mamma Mia
'Come So Far (Got So Far to Go)' from Hairspray
My love of musical theatre really comes out there, doesn't it? Demonstrates why the usual music played in gyms has been driving me mad over the last few sessions.
At the moment I'm still trying to get into a routine. Five kilometres on the bike, with increasing effort levels' is taking me about twenty minutes. The rest of the playlist will be taken up with a spell on the cross trainer and resistance training. I have to endure the gym's own music while I'm on the rower because my iPod falls out of my pocket. As for the treadmill...no, thanks. I tend to have lapses in concentration so imagine a whoosh, thud and a yelp and you've got a decent picture of what would happen to me on there.
I was saddened to learn yesterday that broadcaster David Jacobs has died at the age of 87. As the accompaniment to many of my Sunday evenings as I read and listened to what he called 'our kind of music', I shared many pleasant hours in his company although, admittedly, I only became a fan in the twilight of his career.
His personality seemed - and this is backed up by colleagues' assessments of him - such a warm one and he had a treasure trove of stories about the big names he had introduced and worked with over the years. The only consolation for the future is that he consigned these memories to his listeners for us to smile at over and over.
His shows and his voice were one of the best friends I had. I found a bit of a home listening to him and took a fiendish delight in guessing singers before he named them and guessing which song he'd play next in his 'Common Denominator' slot. I suppose what I have to thank him for the most is the introduction to singers I hadn't previously encountered or paid much attention to them; people like Eydie Gorme (who sadly passed away herself last month) and Dorothy Squires. I have to thank him for expanding my knowledge of singers I did know - for instance, the wonderful Julie London. I also have to thank him for introducing me to some of my favourite songs. The one below is 'If I Were You' by Ray Bolger and Eileen Herlie from the musical All American. David championed this song, playing it quite regularly and calling it one of his favourites. Every time I heard it I wanted to buy it and finally got hold of it on iTunes. Ever since, it has made me think of David and his show. I'm sure that'll be the case for a very long time.
RIP David - thank you for sharing 'our kind of music'.
The Fabulous Dorseysis a rather lacklustre film intended to showcase the music and talents of Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey rather than display any real artistic merit as a film. It stars the brothers as themselves, essentially resulting in an entirely sanitised film which bears little resemblance to biography. It shows the brothers as warring boys then warring adults who split and form their own bands.
I found the scenes when they were children some of the most enjoyable. Once the 'real' Dorseys arrived on screen the entertainment seemed to slip a bit. There are unrealistic fight scenes and lazy dialogue, only relieved by a love story between two of the supporting cast - Janet Blair as Jane and William Lundigan as Bob Burton. The portrayals of Mr and Mrs Dorsey by Arthur Shields and Sara Allgood also lifted the film a little.
Of course, the main point of this film was to showcase the music. It manages this with limited success, only playing fragments of songs that I, for one, would have preferred to hear in their entirety. Still, there's no denying how beautiful the music and it's worth a watch for the performance pieces alone.
There's not much more to say about this one. It works as a musical showcase but not as biography. There's no denying the Dorsey brothers' talent as musicians but they were hardly threatening Cary Grant and Clark Gable in the acting stakes.
It's my birthday today and music is one of my passions so I decided to share a few of my favourite song lyrics with you. Some snippets are longer than others but all of these are beautiful. Well, I think so anyway. The images I get from them are quite potent. These are just five out of literally thousands of songs I adore.
It Never Was You - sung beautifully by Judy Garland in I Could Go On Singing, lyrics by Maxwell Anderson...
An occasional sunset reminded me,
Or a flower hanging high on a tulip tree,
Or one red star hung low in the west,
Or a heart-break call from a Meadow Lark's nest,
Made me think for a moment,
Maybe its true,
I found him in the star,
In the call,
In the blue...
No Way to Stop It - sung in the stage version of The Sound of Music, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II...
A crazy planet full of crazy people,
Is somersaulting all around the sky.
And every time it turns another somersault,
Another day goes by.
And there's no way to stop it,
No, there's no way to stop it.
No, you can't stop it even if you tried.
So, I'm not going to worry,
No, I'm not going to worry,
Every time I see another day go by.
Gone - written and performed by Melody Gardot...
I won't wake up,
To the sound of your feet,
Walking down the hall,
Like a soft heartbeat,
I won't wake up,
Cause by the time that,
I do you'll be gone...
I Don't Want to Know - performed by Angela Lansbury in Dear World and written by the wonderful Jerry Herman...
Let me hide ev'ry truth from my eyes with the back of my hand,
Let me live in a world full of lies with my head in the sand.
Dancing on the Edge, written and directed by Steven Poliakoff, tells the story of a black jazz band trying to break through in 1930s London with the help of some aristocratic and rich friends. It boasts a splendid cast including Chiwetel Ejiofor as bandleader Louis Lester, Matthew Goode as his journalistic 'discoverer' Stanley, John Goodman as rich eccentric Mr Masterson, Anthony Head as Mr Donaldson and Janet Montgomery as Louis's love interest Sarah. It also has an excellent supporting cast including Jenna-Louise Coleman, Wunmi Mosaku, Mel Smith, Jacqueline Bisset, Sam Hoare and Caroline Quentin. However, for all the excellent names in the cast list, this failed on several points for me.
First, let's start with the positive aspects. The production was sumptuous, the colour and decadence of the Imperial Hotel, where the band first makes a splash, contrasts wonderfully with the organised squalor of Stanley's office and other locations associated with the band before their big break. Visually, Dancing on the Edge is nothing short of beautiful. Alongside the locations there are some gorgeous clothes on view and the series does a relatively good job of bringing 1930s London to life. In addition, there are some excellent characters in this piece, whose intentions you're never quite sure of over the five episodes. Most of these are handled well but a few feel incomplete.
The central problem of this series is a murder which Louis Lester finds himself involved in. He has to work out who his friends are while searching for the truth. However, the viewer is pretty much in on the secret - if you've been paying attention - and the question is always 'how' will it come to a head rather than 'who' or 'why'. This dilutes some tension. Equally, the change in singer Jessie Taylor's (Angel Coulby) from star to diva has no depth to it and rather undermines the scenes that follow it. Much more believable is her back-up singer Carla (Mosaku) who is forced to the fore and copes with it admirably.
There were other issues too. Lady Cremone's (Bisset) arc felt strangely unfulfilled and, as one of the more intriguing characters, I was disappointed by that. The romance between Stanley and Pamela (Joanna Vanderham) seemed artificial and I couldn't buy into it, though they were good characters separately. I was more on board with Louis and Sarah's relationship, though I don't think the racial aspects of that were explored half as much as they could have been, considering the era. That, too, was left on a note that didn't exactly reward the viewer for their commitment. It wasn't the type of ending I had a problem with, but their final few scenes together. Perhaps one of my main gripes, though, was the band itself: I don't think their loyalty to Louis, so integral to the finale, was demonstrated at all sufficiently. Yes, Louis was the leader but the rest of the band were woefully left out of most proceedings. This missed both the opportunity to show their relationship to Louis but, also, to show the band's rise from the perspective of someone a little lower down the food chain. They became almost obsolete through the middle episodes and that was sad in my opinion.
Ultimately, I don't think the ending rewarded viewers for their perseverance. It flicked too quickly from the climax to the aftermath. I would've liked the see the reactions of certain characters as they heard the full story but, instead, it was just shown on the pages of a magazine. We don't even know how much of the story came out, an insult to viewers if ever there was one. Dancing on the Edge was artistically beautiful, yes, but I think it sacrificed a lot in character and plot to get there. However, this wasn't the case for all characters: Chiwetel Ejiofor and Matthew Goode were given the opportunity to shine and took it. They, for me, were most certainly the highlights of this series.
My first wisp of anything Kay Thompson related came on the expanded soundtrack to The Harvey Girls. There was a demo of her singing along with 'In the Valley' with Judy Garland and the voice caught my attention years ago - but I thought nothing of it. Then I read a couple of books about Judy and Kay's name popped up as a solid friend and Liza's godmother. Then, finally, I watched Funny Face and thought 'so that's Kay Thompson!'. It was like a lightbulb switched on in my head and I had to know more about this entrancing performer. Fortunately, Sam Irvin's comprehensive biography sheds some light on a woman who was well known in Hollywood circles but floundered beyond that.
Kitty Fink began life as something of an ugly duckling, overshadowed by her prettier sisters. She realised she excelled at entertainment and changed her name when she was sacked for tardiness from one radio job in the hope that her reputation wouldn't follow her. It did and that really began a life of close bonds followed by some cataclysmic rifts. What is most fascinating about Kay (and also most frustrating) is her conscious decision to take ultimate control of everything she touches. This probably stemmed from some disappointments in her early career, notably her axing from the Vincente Minnelli stage musical Hooray for What! in the late 1930s. It would've been her big break and composer Hugh Martin (of Meet Me In St. Louis fame) described the stupidity of that decision: 'To fire that marvellous woman was unforgivable. We all knew Kay was great. Star quality! She could have been another Ethel Merman. Nobody could understand it.' (p64)
With Kay there's a tremendous amount of 'what-ifs', some of them ruined by other people but some ruined by herself. Her most famous creations were her nightclub act with the Williams Brothers and the Eloise books. She took ultimate control of the former, essentially taking much of the profit and credit on herself. While she certainly deserved the credit, some of her manipulations of her performance partners (not limited to the Williams Brothers either) are plain cruel. For instance, Andy Williams (her lover at this point) wanted to use her arrangement of 'The Lord Is My Shepherd' on a new album and she outright rejected the proposal. Williams explained: 'I couldn't believe that she wouldn't allow me to perform the song...I had been with her when she wrote it, and I had sung it for her many times in her apartment. I guess that was Kay; she was possessive about everything she worked on.' (p328) This possessive nature reared its ugly head again when Eloise was adapted for television. A passing comment from Eartha Kitt about the actress playing the title character being the 'new' Eloise set Kay completely against the little girl, since she was thought of Eloise as herself and only herself. She set about taking creative control over the special - with disastrous results. Her star turn in Funny Face was also marred by problems when she and Fred Astaire fell out to the extent that he refused to attend the opening with her. Try rewatching the 'Clap Yo' Hands' sequence with this mutual dislike in mind and see how good actors both of them were!
There are so many little titbits in this book that it's a must for anyone interested in this era of film and music. Kay's involvement numerous talents is both astounding and exhausting but what comes across most potently is the waste of her own talents. She was an acquired taste and there are frequently stories behind many of her own songs, including in-jokes that make them difficult to comprehend outside showbiz circles. This book illuminates some of those in-jokes, allowing the songs to be heard in their original glory. I'll admit that I had only listened to the album I had of her work a few times before reading this book but now I can't stop playing it. My favourite song at the moment is probably 'Bazazz', a word she used in Funny Face and decided to create a song around, but they're all wonderful songs in their own way.
Sam Irvin tries to sum up what Kay was in the opening pages of his book: 'Not to name-drop or anything, but... Kay Thompson was Judy Garland's mentor and best friend and Frank Sinatra's and Lena Horne's vocal coach. She went to school with Tennessee Williams and got her first big break from Bing Crosby. She created a nightclub act for Ginger Rogers, and played charades with Gene Kelly. Bette Davis learned from her, Diana Vreeland was portrayed by her, and Danny Kaye masqueraded in drag as her. She auditioned for Henry Ford, trained Marilyn Monroe, channelled Elvis Presley, rejected Andy Warhol, rebuffed Federico Fellini, and got fired by Howard Hughes. Prince Aly Khan made a pass at her and the Beatles wanted to hold her hand.' (pxiv) And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
I'm an enormous Victoria Wood fan. I completely 'get' her comedy. Her humour is my kind of humour and I can watch her stuff on repeat without getting bored (I wrote about this years ago here). But while I love her comedy I often feel her serious work's overlooked. Anybody who watched her in Housewife, 49 will know what I mean but it goes deeper than that. While there are plenty of laughs in dinnerladies there are also some poignant moments. The one I'll always remember is from the second series when Stan has just lost his father and writes a poem about him. I actually recited that poem in a presentation on grief I had to do because it mixed the funny with the heartbreaking.
One of my favourite songs at the moment is a Victoria Wood oldie that I've only just really discovered. It's not in her usual vein of laugh-out-loud comedic songs but it's a nice poignant number that basically tells you to take a chance in life and not to miss your opportunities when they arrive. Some of the lyrics are too relevant to my own life to comment on really. It's advice I wish I could take but perhaps it's easier said than done. I suppose that at least my characters will be well-informed and ready to do what I'm incapable of. Isn't that what characters are for anyway?
(Note: Video's a little sticky but audio's fine)
Three o’clock and still awake, Winding back each dumb mistake. Every slip replayed, Words not said, moves not made. Five o’clock the sky comes grey, Another wash, another day, Just another life, it’s true, But particularly yours, particularly you. If you have a dream, go with it, Feel the slightest hint, go with it. What is there to lose? Do you dare, dare to choose? I have wasted years behaving In a way I thought was proper, And it’s hard to do. No-one cared, no-one knew. Bus to work, paper shop, Will it alter, will it stop? Take the time to feel, Is this for you? Is this for real? Horoscope, your new campaign, Oh, I'm not so bad, I can’t complain, But you do feel bad somehow, Particularly here, particularly now. You can struggle on believing, Other people have the answers. Even if they do, It couldn’t help, it wouldn’t help you. You may feel there’s more to follow, Some eternal life, I don’t feel that. All there is is now. You can’t choose when. You can choose how. If you have a dream, go with it, Feel the slightest breeze, then follow, Follow all the way, Save yourself from just another day.
