Interlocking Projects

Since I decided to knock NaNo on the head, I've felt a little more in control. Keeping up with an arbitrary word count wasn't for me at the moment and anybody who seeks to rub their 'success' in my face can honestly save their time. At the end of the day, it's better for me to be editing a project that's captured my heart instead of fighting an imaginary battle. I'm just not in the mood for it.

The truth is, there are three things at the moment that are feeding into one another. It's created something of a fire storm in my head - I'm always thinking of one or other of these things and, fortunately for me, they're proving productive.  

The first of these is the novel fourth draft I'm working on - 'Max'. It's amusing in some respects. When I wrote the first draft I remarked that, 'The least said about this one, the better! I didn't want to write it in the first place but I was...compelled.' Thinking about the second draft, I wrote, 'I know how I want the rewrite of this to pan out but the thought of writing it makes me feel queasy.' I finally got round to writing the second draft late last year, adding a second viewpoint and making the 'antagonist' a little more well-rounded. My goal, as I explained, was to delve into the characters: 'The first draft was an exercise in cleansing my mind; now I know more of the characters and I'm ready to create something a little better.' So the second draft twisted things a little and I ended up with a happy ending. The third draft earlier this year removed some secondary characters and replaced them with others who complemented the overall plot. And, once again, my antagonist got a bit nicer. In this fourth draft, she's not quite wearing a halo but it's not far off. I understand her. I understand why she makes some terrible decisions and why she comes across as completely selfish and the work I've done on my protagonist to explain why she reacts the way she does has helped. All in all, I think I'm really getting somewhere with this one. 

My epic fan fic venture is another thing keeping me occupied. Now, I know people have varied opinions about fan fiction but I've always found it keeps my mind focused on writing and I can tell stories I want to for my own personal amusement. If it also helps me unwind then that's no bad thing. This story I'm telling at the moment, though, is one that I've needed to write for a decade and it's consuming me a little - I haven't done a complete word count lately but I suspect we're over the 400,000 word mark. So much for a hobby! However, I'm enjoying writing it and I'm enjoying reading back over it. For me, that's the most important thing. 

The third thing that's feeding into my mental state at the moment is Once Upon a Time. I won't go into details but, for those of you who haven't watched the show, it's a retelling of certain fairytales that has a pretty important 'friendship' going on between two female characters. I'm drowning in fan fic and gifs - again, a hobby, but one that's aiding my productivity on the novel draft and the fan fic.

You see, there's a good reason these three things are coexisting in my life at the moment. All of them have family at their root. I learned during the second draft of 'Max' that it was the integral theme of the novel and that's only strengthened as time's gone by. In the fan fic, it's emerged as the defining theme and, well, Once Upon a Time is meant to be about family, even if it's not always clear that the writers know what they're doing. The novel draft, the fan fic and Once Upon a Time all have two parents (one not blood-related) and a complex familial relationship at the heart of them. And, perhaps, that's why everything's working so well at the moment.

There's no doubt in my mind that writing this fan fic and getting overly involved in Once Upon a Time is helping my novel draft. Call it a waste of valuable time if you want but I don't believe that - you can't write before you've learned the value and cost of a particular story or theme. Slowly, I'm figuring that out. 

After All, It's a Step in the Right Direction

I've been excessively silent on this blog recently and I apologise for that. I'm still lagging behind with my book and classic film reviews but hopefully I can get those up to date soon. The sad truth is that I haven't had much time to read and watch anything or, really, to do much apart from react to things going on around me. It's not the most rewarding of existences and it certainly isn't healthy for me personally.

So where are we at? Well, last Friday I delivered what I hope is the last piece of my PhD puzzle. My thesis corrections have been uploaded and outstanding paperwork delivered so, theoretically, that should be that.

In other news, I was delighted to be short-listed in the 2015 Exeter Story Prize with my short story 'Pongo'. That's one I'm particularly proud of and I'm glad all that hard work paid off. One of the things that drew me to that competition was the ability to submit longer short stories. Sometimes you need the extra space and I don't think 'Pongo' would've squeezed in to a more constrictive word count.

I'm also standing for election again in the Pontefract North by-election on the 24th September for Yorkshire First. Politics is still something I'm passionate about, though I don't go into it much on this blog. However, in fairness, I haven't had much time to go into it on my politics blog either! The last post I managed over there was badgering the previous councillor to resign and, lo and behold, now I'm standing for her seat. Isn't life a funny thing?

My priorities have, quite naturally, shifted with waving the PhD goodbye. Top on the list is trying to look after myself a little better than I have been doing in recent months. Beyond that, there are always other things in the pipeline. Here are the headlines.

• Back in July I developed a priority list of novel drafts. I've got cracking on the fourth draft of 'Max', marking up all the necessary edits and starting on the nitty-gritty of actually implementing them. This is going to be a long process and it may derail the other projects I want to work on before the end of the year. However, I'd still like to get to 'Danni' and 'Izzy' before the end of the year. I'm also working on the assumption that I'm going to be participating in NaNoWriMo this year, though by this point I've usually had a big idea and I'm working on refining it. I need inspiration to strike. 
• On the short story front, I need to get back into the groove. For instance, I currently have four in need of a second draft and another four that I've decided need a complete overhaul before I resubmit them. At the time of typing, I only have three short stories out at submission but there are another two I'm content enough with to send out so I need to get on with that. My aim is to make my co-working day with Wakefield Jelly the main day for short story paper edits again. That's worked very well in the past and it's a dedicated day for escaping to edit short stories (in addition to a dedicated hour of escape each weekday to actually write them). Incidentally, if anyone's around on Wednesday 23rd September, pleased stop by at Create and join us Jelly folk. The group has been going for two years now and, amazingly enough, I've been going since the start!
• I'm also hoping to take on some tutoring work for A-Level students and above. I had some success in this quarter earlier in the year so, if you know anyone who needs a little help with their English studies please ask them to contact me. Hopefully there'll be more on this in the future. 
• Freelance writing and project management is also another string to my bow and is taking up a chunk of my time at the moment. 

There, that's perfectly manageable, isn't it? Who said anything about slowing down? Besides, it takes my mind off the fact I'm essentially flying without navigation at the moment. But, as Angela sings, it's a step in the right direction, after all...even if I don't know quite what direction I'm going in. 

The Week Ahead: Corrections and Short Stories

If I went into detail about why I'm despairing at the moment it'd take a while and nothing else would get done. Suffice to say, just when I thought things couldn't get worse, they suddenly did. The last year of my life has been a lesson in this so I'm not sure why I'm so surprised. Alas, tolerance levels are eroded beyond recognition. If there's one thing going right in a life perhaps the rest can be accepted as necessary balance but that's not the case. However, I apparently have to carry on so...

I've got a month before my thesis corrections are due and, really, I wanted them finished two weeks ago. I've planned all the edits and I'm halfway through implementing them now. All I need to do after that is write two brief appendices and get them checked over. Then the thesis is done and... Well, it's done. Full stop after that one.

My other task for this week is to work on some of the short story drafts I've neglected. Three need a complete rewrite, though I've been putting it off because the novel drafts seemed more important. I want to rewrite them this week for editing at Wakefield Jelly next week. In theory, let's see how that goes.

Next week I'm cat-sitting for my sister. During that quiet time away I'm going to focus on the fourth draft of 'Max'. I've already had a read through of the third draft and I know what needs to be done. A couple of major fixes and thousands of minor ones. I want to make a dent in that.

Little steps...

Just Write

It's been a funny old year on the writing front.

The last time I wrote one of my periodic 'writing goals' post I had a six month plan that stretched from December to May and was ambitious to say the least.  Unsurprisingly, it didn't pan out, though that had more to do with the thesis work I had to do and a lot of other rubbish that overtook me.

It's true that I spent December working on the second draft of 'Max' (which refused to behave, see here) then I polished 'Lily' in January. I then started work on the close edit of 'Danni'. That's where I ran into trouble. The place I had to put myself mentally in order to work on that particular draft was painful and I blogged about it here. Ultimately, for all my good intentions, I faltered with that draft and it's languishing at 54,342 words. Nor did I work on any of the other novels I earmarked for work before June.

So what did I do? Well, I worked on the third draft of 'Max' when the urge took me. I completed that two weeks ago and then I started a new work 'Phoebe'. This is based on my experiences at the election night count and I originally envisioned it as a novella. However, part one (of three) came to over 20,000 words so I'm not quite sure what it'll end up as. I'm trying not to be rigid, I just want to get it down on paper. At least I'm not aiming for that mythical 50,000 mark with this one.

I need a plan of attack though; a draft priority list if you will. I know I look like a first-draft machine but it's just because it's been easier to do that while I've been shuffling through my PhD (besides, I think the fact that 'Danni' has been through six drafts so far refutes that anyway). In terms of which novels I'm ready to work on and in which order they should be approached, here's the list:

1. 'Phoebe' - First thing is to finish this draft, however long it turns out to be. It's currently sitting at 23,733 words.
2. 'Max' - Then I want to work on the fourth draft of this which is essentially a close-edit and general tweak. I'm pretty happy with the structure and characterisation of this one now, the third draft improved it massively. That opinion is, of course, subject to change. 
3. 'Danni' - Perhaps by then I'll be in the right place mentally to finish this. I paused the seventh draft with 24 out of 31 chapters written. I did the hard stuff, the difficult rewriting. From that point onwards the narrative is essentially the same as in the sixth draft (with the exception of the final chapter) but it needs a close-edit. 
4. 'Izzy' - I had an epiphany about this one a while ago which involves the alteration of much of the plot but keeps the characters. This needs detailed planning but I know the core of the story. It remains to be seen whether it keeps the ambivalent ending of the first draft though. I'm a sucker for happy endings these days. 
5. 'Kathy' - This is currently an unfinished first draft from 2013 which I decided needs to be in first person instead of third. So I need to rewrite the 10,000 words already written then see where the story takes me for the rest of it - I have a tentative plan.
6. 'Liz' - I've neglected this one for too long. This is a second draft and I'm a third of the way through it but I hit a brick wall, possibly because I was rewriting it in Scrivener and I can't get to grips with it.
7. 'Vic' - There's a fair bit of planning to do ahead of the second draft. I want to change the premise slightly but the characters and their relationships work. 
8. 'Carys' - Again, there's planning to be done ahead of the second draft but a lot of stuff in this works. I know what I want to change in terms of the main plot so I'll see where the new plan takes me. 
9. 'Lauren' - The second draft of this was another experiment with characters I've been toying with since I was sixteen. The whole thing gels quite well now but I need to approach it carefully to make sure I'm not just saying it's better when it's not.
10. 'Mel' - This was my 2014 NaNoWriMo novel so it's pretty low down the list. I need an epiphany to hit on this one. 
11. 'Lily' - It seems strange to put this one at the bottom of the list when I've had positive feedback on it and advice on how to improve. However, I feel that I need to look at the others first. This may well get boosted back up the tree but, for now, I want to focus on the others. 

This is quite a list, isn't it? There'll likely be a new NaNoWriMo draft in November to go along with it. Let's see where I am by the end of the year, eh?

A Fresh Approach

Now that I'm in that scary limbo between thesis submission and viva I decided that a little shake up of my daily plans was in order. I've just been muddling through for the last year or so, trying to do everything all at once and getting snowed under with it all. It was only when I allowed myself the novelty of a weekend off that I realised there are better ways to split my time for the moment. I won't like it, on account of it feeling like I'm doing too little on certain days, but I'll try to stick to it where I can.

So I've got various irons in the fire as far as work goes. I'm researching several academic papers that I think I can set my mind to drafting now the thesis is gone; I've got a steady stream of short stories that I'm writing, rewriting, editing and submitting; I've got two blogs to keep ticking over; I'm hoping to stand for election in the locals in May for Yorkshire First (I forgot to mention that over here, see my other blog for details); and, of course, I have those pesky novels in various stages of rewriting. If I don't break it up a bit then I'm liable to feel more overwhelmed than I do just looking at that list. We're probably looking at something like this:

• An admin day - Time spent on catching up with blog posts, typing up short stories ready for editing, sorting out submissions.
• An academic day - Work on those papers I've got in mind, one at least is ready to be written straight away.
• A short story day - For the actual writing and editing of short stories, which will entail me going to the library because that's definitely an out of office task. 
• Two novel days - To work on whatever novel I'm beavering away on at the time. 
• Evenings - Fan fiction or other relaxing activity that is probably not work.
• Weekends - I can work, if I want, or I can write fan fiction or I can read. I don't have much of a social life but who needs one when you've got books? 

I know myself well enough to say that Mondays will probably be my admin day unless there's something pressing to be done in the other categories. We'll see how it goes, of course, and I might go back to muddling through very quickly. Anyway, it's worth a shot.

Here's Snowdrop with my thesis, to brighten up a dreary Monday...

Some Solid Writing Goals

Now I've completed my 2014 NaNoWriMo draft, my thoughts have returned to setting up a clear schedule of writing goals for the next few months. These are, of course, subject to the vagaries of my PhD completion timetable and sanity. I have found, though, that I've got a renewed sense of determination and passion. And plus, y'know, focusing on my writing lets me ignore the shambles of everything else so...we'll roll with it.

• December - I'll spend December working on 'Max', the second draft of a novel I wrote back in mid-2012. I replotted this in my week of despair in early September but, despite that, I think the plan works. I've added a viewpoint and some other characters along with lengthening the time frame and making it a bit more serious. The first draft was an exercise in cleansing my mind; now I know more of the characters and I'm ready to create something a little better. 
• January/February - The first couple of weeks of January will hopefully be spent polishing 'Lily' to perfection. That's the novel I spent September and October with and, right now, the plan is to read it aloud and see how it sounds. After that, I want to work on the tweaks I need to do to 'Danni'. When I did the last of these planning posts back in May, I said that's the novel I'm happiest with. I still maintain that but I want to give it a thorough sweep which may or may not take six weeks. 
• March - I know what I should do in March. I should get back into 'Liz' because it's a very good story and the first draft was brilliant. I've got a scene-by-scene breakdown for the rest of the rewrite but I can never seem to get back into it. This possibly stems from the fact that I worked on this redraft in Scrivener and I've decided it's not for me. However, the novel is still plugged in there. Why not just export it, you say? Well, I'm a pest and the two benefits of Scrivener as far as I can see are the split-screen functionality and corkboard. Those are the two things I'm actually using. We'll see. There may be another reason why I can't finish this novel but we'll see in March, won't we?
• April - I have a tentative plan with a friend in April to work on first drafts together. In which case, mine would probably be altering the first 10,000 of 'Kathy' into first person then finishing that novel draft. 
• May - Here we reach a conflict where I'll probably either work on the second draft of 'Vic', my 2012 NaNo novel, or 'Izzy', the first draft I wrote after it. Both need planning work done before I can crack on but 'Izzy' needs more so that may be the tipping point. Better see what planning for these I can insert into earlier months. 

That all looks a bit gruelling, doesn't it? Lucky I'm determined. The novels that leaves outstanding are 'Lauren', 'Carys' and my latest NaNo success, 'Mel'. Let's see where we are in May. Right, Gene?

Priority Lists

One of the departments I used to work for tried to be rigidly organised, giving us each of us lists every day about what we were doing and in what order. I did like knowing that and being able to jump straight into another task without having to (me being a summer clerk) hang around somebody's desk until they took pity on me and found me something to do. However, the lists could also have detrimental effects - if there was a task I was no good at or didn't know how to do, the fear would eat away at me until I got it done. Similarly, you couldn't skip a task without explaining/asking for permission first. It became a mini dictatorship and I came to loathe those bits of paper, despite the good they were still doing me most of the time.

So how does this relate to my current predicaments? Well, I'm drowning over here. It's funny on one level, terrifying on another. I'm going to trial giving myself a daily priority list which tries to balance the things I need to do with the things I should do and those I'd merely like to. If it underlines the problem rather than aiding it then I'll discard it as a failed experiment but with my little piece of yellow paper next to me I feel...well, overwhelmed and yet safe in the knowledge that I have a plan.

This is what today looks like:

1. Blog x 2 (for here and One Yorkshire Voice)
2. Type up short story edits for submission tomorrow
3. Check the proofs for my Downton Abbey/Upstairs, Downstairs essay which came through yesterday and need a swift turnaround
4. Two hours minimum on thesis chapter edits
5. Final meeting of the Westgate Writers before our event on Saturday
6. Novel work

Now I could just sit here laughing at the implausibility of all that or I could get on. Perhaps I should've factored lunchtime into all that... 

Taking Stock

Apologies for the radio silence. It's been a tough few weeks. Actually, everything since my birthday at the end of July has been a mini-nightmare, all conspiring to make this one gigantic monster that's inclined to chase me down the street with fangs bared. I'm holding him off for now but I can't say it's easy.

The less said about the thesis at the moment, the better. I just have to hope the problems I'm having with that (not completely of my own making this time) will iron themselves out. As a side note, I hate Edmund Yates and Wilkie Collins with every fibre of my being. I'd be happy never to see a passing reference to them ever again, though I'm told that feeling fades...eventually.

So - the writing. There's still some good news in the bag that I can't share with you yet but, beyond that, I'm really pulling my finger out. Last week, I took the time to focus on my writing and made a little progress. As I intended to do back in May, I've done a little planning ahead so that one novel ('Max') is ready to be second-drafted. I also cheated a little on my resolution not to do any 'proper' writing and made a concerted effort to finish the second draft of 'Lauren'. We're nearly there with only two and a half chapters left to write and it's hovering around the 60,000 mark at the moment. I've changed a lot about this (added five viewpoints for a start) and it's very rough but getting there, plot-wise. Everything needs tightening etc but that's a job for draft three.

My plans after I've finished that may change. Currently, what I want to do is work on the sixth draft of 'Lily'. That will require concentration, focus on every word, and may not sit comfortably alongside my thesis edits which, at this point, require the same thing. Not to worry - I've got several short stories to write and rework and I'm working on a play rewrite, which I need to submit to somewhere specific by the end of the month. I haven't got much out at submission currently but that's going to change.

To say I'm using my writing as a distraction wouldn't be far off the mark. August was atrocious, punctuated by problems with the boiler that still aren't resolved, a re-emergence of my anxiety issues and some rather more serious problems. My grandmother was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Even when they're 91 it's something you don't want to hear and the doc isn't planning on telling her because of her dementia problems. I've got mixed feelings on that one but my dad and aunt are the ones with the rights over her, not me. As well as that bombshell, I broke up (very amicably, as it happened) with my partner of nearly nine years and there have also been other things going on I can't really discuss on a public forum like this. However, what it all boils down to is a great shift in how I define myself. I've got to change my mindset and fight some long-ingrained habits. Learning to be yourself without other people around to bounce things off can be tricky but, hey, it's not as though I have a choice right now.

I've learned a couple of things in the last month. The first is that I have a renewed confidence in my writing abilities and I really need to hold on to that. The second is that honesty is truly the best policy. It might've made me ill, it might've caused a minor earthquake in my little world, but I feel a bit better for it. Not that I can keep a grip on that perspective constantly. Just have to roll with it for a while, I guess. Finally, the third thing I learned is that I can be strong. As I tweeted last week, I've essentially taken a blowtorch to half my life over the last month. Maybe it was stupid but once I'd struck the match, it was out of my control. And, in all seriousness, the fact that it is all out of my control now is vaguely reassuring. I did the right things for once, the brave things, and the fact that it didn't quite work out is not down to me. I have many things to reproach myself about in the past but, this time, I think I behaved fairly well.

So I'll just continue to roll with the punches. As I've been typing this, a man arrived with no warning to paint our windowsills and the saga of the boiler continues on Wednesday. I may be lonely at the moment, very lonely, but as long as I have my characters around I suppose I'll get through it. Betty Hutton can also help...

Writing Projects - Planning Ahead

'Year of the thesis' is taking its toll. Not just on my sanity (though I am rather worried about that) but also on my writing. When I said I was taking a 'writing break' two months ago part of the reason was that I just didn't want to write any more. I'd lost the spark, it had been smothered under thesis work and personal problems, and I couldn't force it to come back with everything else going on. I'd said I'd see how I felt in the future. Well, I know how I feel now. I want to damn well write. Only problem is that I can't.

The kick I needed was a short story acceptance (I'll tell you about that next week) which gave me some confidence in my writing again. Then I had an epiphany about the first novel I ever completed and has been through four rewrites already. I know what to do with it. Suddenly the writing bug was back.

But - but - but... The thesis is killing me. I need to focus on it and I need to finish it as soon as possible. In addition to that, I'm giving papers at three conferences in the next six weeks and that in itself is causing me some considerable anxiety. There's no time for writing novels to fit into this. I've consoled myself by working on short stories longhand but it's not the same and it's not really what I want to be doing. So I've decided that, if I'm telling myself I can't write, I can at least plan. Then when I can write again, I'll be off like a shot... In theory. So here's the list of how my projects are looking and what planning I can do about them until that luxurious moment I actually get to write them again. These are in order of when they were written:

1. 'Lily' - This is the one that prompted the epiphany. As I consequence I've been sort of secretly working on a plan for the sixth draft which I finished the night before last. It details the major changes in each scene and, of course, there will be many minor ones too. I'm raring to go on this one.
2. 'Danni' - I'm actually happiest with this novel. I finished the fifth draft earlier this year and I don't think there's major work to be done, just tweaks. So this is the one I want to submit (and I know where to) once this pesky PhD is done with.
3. 'Liz' - I stopped working on the second draft of this in March when I was about a third into the rewrite and thesis work started to take over. The good thing is, I've also got a scene-by-scene breakdown of changes written for this. Just a case of implementing them. 
4. 'Lauren' - I mentioned back in January that I've changed so much with this that the second draft is essentially another first one. And, to be honest, the draft's nearly there. I've got two of the six sections left to complete and one of them is completely planned out. So I just need to plan the last section to get that ready for work.
5. 'Max' - There are massive changes to be made to this first draft, including switching from one POV to two and doing some serious characterisation work on the two protagonists. That all needs to be planned out. 
6. 'Vic' - There are changes to be made to back story on this first draft and more characterisation work to be done. I can plan that out. 
7. 'Izzy' - This first draft needs major change and I need to work out what those changes are going to be. I've started some protagonist characterisation work so I need to finish that then plan the new progression I guess. 
8. 'Carys' - My most recent NaNoWriMo success obviously needs major work. I have no idea what form this is going to take so I need to think about that.
9. 'Kathy' - This unfinished draft needs rewriting from third to first person and then planned from there to the end. That's doable. 

So there we go. There's a lot of planning I can get my teeth stuck into there, as long as I resist the temptation to actually write the drafts. Hopefully by the time I'm finally allowed to indulge, I'll be chomping at the bit. Though when that may be...who knows? 

Editing Shorthand

It's been a long, long time since I did proper paper edits on a novel draft. I mean, I've done bits and pieces, odd chapters, but it's a long time since I held a full draft in my hands then attacked it mercilessly with a pen. True, my rewrites on 'Danni' have leapfrogged finishing the first draft of 'Kathy' (as planned here) but there's a good reason for that. Finishing the first draft of 'Izzy', jumping straight into NaNo and then going back to trying to complete a third first draft in a row felt...well, ludicrous, even for me. So I picked up the edits and spent a solid six hours highlighting what needs to be changed and weighing up every sentence. As I went, I found myself coming up with my own little editing shorthand that I felt like sharing. Some of it's standard, some of it's a little peculiar...

• Check - Means what it says, for the most part. I'm not completely happy with the sentence as it reads so I need to look into it further and see if I can change it. 
• Rephrase - I know that the sentence definitely isn't right and needs a complete overhaul.
• (?) - My word choice isn't right in a portion of the sentence, think it over and consult a thesaurus. 
• Foreshadow - Exactly what it says. Perfect moment for foreshadowing something that happens later.
• Check E/T - Nope, this doesn't mean consult the resident alien. It means consult The Emotion Thesaurus, an excellent writing guide I discussed in more detail in this post, 'I Said Love - Or Did I?'
• M/C - Stands for 'more common'. I apparently have a habit of making my antagonists far too posh. In this case, it really doesn't work so I'm peppering his dialogue with these notes to remind me to rough up his language a bit.
• Tag - Sentence isn't reading well, may need to rearrange the character tagging or add a tag in.
• Extend - More of it, I want more of it.
• Clunky - Well, it's...clunky.
• (P) - Punctuation change. 

I'm assuming most of that is normal. I'm also assuming it's a list that'll continue to get longer. I have to say, though, losing myself in these edits is proving rather delightful. The only difficulty is, once I've made notes on what edits I want to make, I have to go back to PhD work for a week. Who knows when I'll be able to actually implement the edits?

London and VPFA Conference (Part 1)

I spent Tuesday to Friday last week in our over-heating capital. The purpose of my visit was the conference mentioned in the title but I also found time to do a few other things. The title of this post is a little misleading - this part will talk about London and the second part will discuss the actual conference. So...here goes.

Me being me, I got myself worked up into quite a state before I left. My first 'job' was meeting the lovely Laura (@HistorianLaura on Twitter). We had a late lunch at Pizza Express which I thoroughly enjoyed. Nice and easy conversation with someone on my wavelength - perfect! 

That evening I was fortunate enough to have a cheap theatre ticket. I've wanted to see Merrily We Roll Along since I heard Jenna Russell had been cast and Maria Friedman was directing. Thanks to a last minute deal I found myself in the second row of the stalls gaping up at the stage. What a performance! Sondheim is never easy and you really have to concentrate - especially with a show that moves backwards - but the production was gorgeous and the acting sublime. Clare Foster and Jenna Russell's versions of 'Not a Day Goes By' were probably the highlights for me but 'Old Friends' was up there too, along with 'Franklin Shepard, Inc'. Now, here's the thing. On the performance I went to the role of Charley was taken on by the understudy, Matthew Barrow. I wasn't going to comment on his performance at all because it was the embodiment of what I felt Charley should be. He was outstanding, particularly in 'Franklin Shepard, Inc', which requires energy and a certain connection with the audience. Jenna Russell's Mary also needed this and there was no doubt she succeeded. I know Sondheim isn't for everyone and the woman sat beside me asked what the hell was going on at the interval. But, for me, it was a perfect first Sondheim for me and I'm grateful I managed to land a ticket I wouldn't have otherwise been able to afford. 

On Wednesday morning I had a few hours to kill before the start of the conference. So where better to spend it than the Charles Dickens Museum on Doughty Street? I did get told off by one guide for not lingering to listen to her rehearsed introduction but, really, I knew enough about Dickens to proceed without help. It was a wonderful little house and I thoroughly enjoyed looking round. I also had an excellent chat with another guide about my PhD before I left. Then I went down to the cafe and had a cup of tea in the back garden. As you can see from the pictures it was a gorgeous day out there. 

After I'd finished my tea I inevitably stepped into the shop. As well as a keyring, I bought the book and postcards below. The postcards are just beautiful and, really, anything that mentions Wilkie Collins I can thoroughly justify...right? I do love Hesperus books - I always get the sense they're lovingly created. 

For now I'll skip over Wednesday afternoon and all day Thursday and skip straight to Friday. I had to go to Foyles to pick up a Proms book for my grandmother. Naturally, with the music department being on the top floor, I got a little sidetracked as I progressed. I'm sure the saleswoman thought I was a bit mad: a Proms guide, a self-editing book, a Katharine Hepburn biography and a Stella Gibbons novel? Well, I'm certainly varied!

My next shop was The Tea House in Covent Garden. I've recently gone a little nutty on loose leaf tea so I decided to indulge my new obsession and I bought the below teas. I've tried all of them. The Moroccan Mint is luscious, light and still lovely. The Tutti Frutti smell nearly knocked my socks off but thankfully the taste is less intense. However, it's the Calming Tea that looks like wood-chip that really astonished me - because of the ginger, I think, it has a little kick to it making it, remarkably, the tastiest of the bunch. Also, the prices were extremely reasonable and they should last me a while. I've got no reason not to be relaxed with these in my possession!  

So that was the so-called 'fun' part of proceedings. I'll tell you almost all about the conference tomorrow...

Maximising Productivity

Last week was a pretty productive week for me. I'm going to try an alternating system as far as word production is concerned. So a week on the novel then, perhaps, two weeks on the PhD. My old system of PhD during the day and writing in the evening stopped working late last year. I'm not quite sure why but it may have something to do with the fact that every time I had to 'switch gears' it took me longer and longer to get from one project to the other. I was getting too enthusiastically involved with my PhD (not a bad thing) and, more often than not, didn't want to stop working for the evening. I wanted to finish a point or finish some secondary reading or find something. Then, all of a sudden, time's disappeared and my fiction writing suffered as a result. Equally, on the days during November when I was forcing myself through NaNoWriMo my fictional focus was very strong and I didn't want to do anything else. So, it seems a new way must be sought.

Unfortunately, it's not as easy as saying 'pick a priority'. For several reasons, I can't do that, not least because I'm lost when I'm not involved in writing a story. If I'm working towards the aim of publication then I need to put 49% of my effort into my fiction, the other 51% belongs firmly to the PhD (for illustrative purposes here we're forgetting the other things I need to do this year for the time being). I mean, this is simpler than it looks. Yes, I have babysitting duties (which doesn't feel much like duty most of the time) but I have a woeful lack of a social life. In fact, my grandmother asked this weekend if '[I] only have one friend' before hastily adding 'round here' when she realised it sounded a little harsh. Well, yes, I do and that's probably all the better for my productivity.

I don't know if a week is the best time to spend on one thing before switching. What I do know is that last week I devoted myself to editing the middle of a novel and managed 19,907 words in seven days. This was the most finicky part of editing too - when earlier changes have been made to character and plot and you spend hours trying to make sure everything follows and that the whole makes sense. I long for the days when I was simply shredding my plot to pieces and didn't have to worry about the detail. Nevertheless, that concentrated effort brought that draft up 64,432 words so another concentrated effort in a week or so will finish that draft off. Then I get the out-loud read through which annoys the dog no end but we'll deal with that hurdle when we come to it.

We'll see if this new system holds me. I suppose it depends how enthusiastic I get at any given time about any given thing. However, my novel is all packed away again and I'm all ready for a week on the PhD now. Wilkie Collins and Edmund Yates better watch out...

In Which I Discuss All My Major Writing Projects...

It occurred to me yesterday how much better I've become at completing drafts. I remember when I first started my MA we were asked what we particularly wanted to get out of the course - my answer was to finish something. Of course, an MA isn't the best place to do that (I have two unfinished projects from that year) but it provided some of the tools and my stubbornness provided the rest. My first complete manuscript actually came from my first NaNoWriMo. That idea of fighting with myself (and a certain friend, she knows who she is) was the push I needed. But since then I've morphed into a writer who likes to damn well complete first drafts when I've got them off the ground. The problem now is that I have a stack of things to redraft and precious little time to do it in.

Here's a list of my current projects that I consider 'off the ground'. There are countless others that are languishing on the top shelf of my musicals DVD bookcase glaring at me every time I want to watch The Wizard of Oz or Funny Face but we'll continue ignoring them for now or my brain really will melt from overwork. Note: I call all my novels by the name of my protagonist until I can actually come up with titles. I hate titles. That's a rant for another day.

1. 'Lily' - The most developed of all, this was the novel I wrote and completed for my first NaNoWriMo. Since then it's gone through two and a half further drafts before I aborted the half and started afresh. I'm about 31,000 words into the fourth/fifth draft now. 
2. 'Danni' - Apparently this has been through four drafts, though I can't remember all that pain. One thing I do know is that I just opened the first draft for a peek and spotted some characters I can't remember. That's a good thing, means I managed to change it beyond recognition but I may be at the point where the first draft will help me plot where I go next. It needs...something. I just to figure out what. The fourth draft came in at around 69,000 words. 
3. 'Liz' - One first draft finished and I have decent plans for the second. Obviously needs beefing up a little at 55,000 words but this one did start out as a novella so... 
4. 'Lauren' - Another NaNoWriMo victory, this time from 2011. Had a lightbulb moment about this one very recently (two days ago) so this is definitely ready for work. Again, it needs development at 54,000 words. 
5. 'Max' - The least said about this one, the better! I didn't want to write it in the first place but I was...compelled. No doubt I'll be compelled to write the second draft too and, unfortunately, I do have some ideas about development. It needs it, coming in at 51,000 on the first draft. 
6. 'Vic' - My most recent NaNoWriMo victory. Very short at around 51,000 words (again!) but I like this one. Definitely needs work but definitely has potential. 

When I write it out like that it almost looks impressive. Of course, there are still the more major ones that got away. 'Rosie', my first MA project, got me my highest MA mark and the first few chapters comprised of about 10,000 words. I keep meaning to go back to that and I do have a full plan. However, not the time! My second MA project, 'Freya', was the piece I used for my dissertation and is around 19,000 words long at the moment. It's a bit of a departure for me, a fantasy novel of sorts. But I have it on decent authority that it worked so I really should go back to it. A little something out of the ordinary is good for the muse - or so I just made up. 'Mervyn' is something that's been hanging around me for a few years in various forms but so far I've only got it up to 4,000 words. It deserves more and I swear I'll get back to it...some day. 

So much to do and so little time. It's probably not surprising that juggling this heap of stuff with my PhD sometimes gets a little overwhelming. But maybe that's the fun of it. I like to be challenged, at least in this way. However, I wouldn't say no to a few weeks off! I'm melting...

Getting To Hate You

I keep coming back to this - if I enjoy anything in my 'working' life (yes, I use that term loosely because I lot of people believe I do nothing all day) then I'm doing it wrong. Simple. Oh, I'm perfectly willing to enjoy the flush of a first draft or the first reading of a fairly good Victorian sensation novel but I shouldn't enjoy the rewriting process or the actual cobbling of ideas into an argument. I shouldn't be happy in those circumstances; I should be banging my head against a wall in frustration.

I've been thinking about this a fair bit recently. I've read two Edmund Yates novels in a row that made me want to throw myself into a river without preamble. My problem is, I don't know if they're actually bad novels or whether I've just hit the point that I believe everything related to Yates has to be categorised as 'bad'. I read his name or I think about any of my research and I want to bury my head in something else. That 'something else' is frequently politics, which has implications for my sanity as well!

As far as writing goes, I've been working on a new first draft which I loathe. I'm writing it from compulsion and am therefore not really enjoying it. In fact, if I didn't think it'd haunt me for the rest of my days, I'd do my best to ignore it. I've also been writing to some competition deadlines that I became aware of fairly late in the cycle so they were unfortunately rushed and unfortunately more of a chore than a pleasure. But isn't that the part of writing we're supposed to trumpet? When the going gets tough a lot of writers get going. The rest of us knuckle down and get on with it. Our hopes and dreams are more important than some momentary discomfort.

I need to edit (again) a novel I last fiddled with perhaps a year ago. I know what I need to do with it but the actual process of going about it is intimidating me. It's also tricky to justify editing that when I've got so much else to occupy my time. What to do? I suppose sleep is an optional extra in life.

When things lose their glossiness and fun it's easy to push them away. Unfortunately, when I feel that urge coming on, it just strengthens my resolve to get on and do whatever I have to. I dislike my stubbornness sometimes.

First Draft Relief

After weeks of wading through rewrites and debating the value of one particular word over another, it's a great relief to allow myself to just write again.

There's an adrenalin rush at the starting point of any project. When you're within the first 10,000 words you believe anything is possible. You wait for the characters to find their voices and their stride. You wait for your own stride to set its pace. You get to know all these new people and gradually turn back into a human being. The editing process can indeed be enjoyable, but sometimes it can suck the life right out of you.

This stage of a project is the most exciting for me. I'm 2000 words in and loving the sight of words growing on the page. In fact, I'm on the brink of singing about how happy I am in that particular area of my life. I can't wait until seven o'clock comes when I can swap my PhD hat for my writing hat.

How long will the excitement last? Well, maybe until I hit that first plot stumbling block that makes me realise plunging along with this draft is a bad idea. Or until my characters stop talking to me and I discover I'm floating in the middle of an ocean in a leaky boat. Or maybe the excitement will last at least until the first draft is finished and I'll enthusiastically look forward to the rewriting process.

Hmm, I won't hold my breath that it'll last beyond the point I start rewriting...

To celebrate my good mood - here's Liza. Who, incidentally, I'm seeing at the Royal Albert Hall in June. Can't wait!

Can You Watch & Edit?

Today I noticed something about myself. Aside from the fact I need to be listening to music in order to write, I apparently need something on in the background in order to be able to edit my work. Nope, it can't be music. Preferably, it should be a musical which has enough numbers in it to distract me once in a while yet isn't completely packed. I would watch The Sound of Music as opposed to the anniversary concert of Les Miserables let's say.

Does this quirk make me odder than I thought I was?

I choose films I know backwards. Tonight I sat watching Gentlemen Prefer Blondes with my script on my knee. I managed to edit twenty-five pages, a pretty concentrated effort for me. Usually I drift off into doing something else while I'm editing.

The trouble is, I like the editing process but I do see it as a never-ending one. I'm never going to be happy with what I write. If I try and edit at my desk I'm likely to overwhelm myself by playing around with my thesaurus and panicking about why my scenario seems faintly familiar. Am I a thief, am I wannabe? By focusing half my attention on something else I can pull back from my doubts and have a decent editing session whilst also entertaining myself a little.

This doesn't work for everything, of course. Some stories require more meticulous attention than others, especially if they're irritating me. If I'm overhauling a plot I have to give it my full attention. And, invariably at this point, Facebook and Twitter get my undivided adoration.

I'm not a lost cause but I am getting close to being a hopeless case.