Escaping the Reeds

There's a moment in one of my favourite films, The African Queen, where Rose (Katharine Hepburn) and Charlie (Humphrey Bogart) are suffocating. The titular boat has been travelling through reeds and, despite their best efforts, they get stuck. They use the oars to try and launch their way through, they get out and pull, only to be assaulted by leeches. Even after this discovery, they are forced to get back in the water, just to have another shot at getting out of there. All the while, they're finding it close and hard to breathe.

If anything serves as a metaphor for how I've felt this week, that scene does it. Trapped, overwhelmed, lost: as though every breath was an effort. Each time I made an attempt to move, each time I dipped my toe in the water to try and navigate an escape, the leeches got me in the form of a memory. Sitting at my computer on an evening has been a device of torture. Far too many connotations and links. But, here's the rub, it's very difficult for me not to sit at my computer to work. All my thesis stuff and writing drafts are on it; my life's work, if you will. But little point in being at the computer when all I do is burst into tears. That's not focusing, in any sense of the word.

Yesterday became my 'getting back in the water' moment. It was my first Sheffield trip since all this kicked off and it was a doozy. Looking at it now, it's probably best to define it as a three hour panic attack that lasted from mid-morning until I got to my meeting at two. It involved some rather unpleasant scenes at the train station where I paced around and looked thoroughly crazy then one of those embarrassing moments on the train itself where I'm standing in the vestibule weeping, just weeping. With the aid of a friend, I made it up to uni and my meeting but I felt as though the life had been sucked out of me again.

My meeting went well, very well. Some positivity began to creep back into my mind, the possibility that I can get through the next few months. Though, when one of my supervisors asked me to think beyond that, I couldn't. With everything that's happened over the last few weeks, I don't have that ability. I just need to look at the smaller picture. The bigger one terrifies me.

Travelling home, I tried to think of ways I could force myself to work. Because the reeds are still there, threatening me every time I sit down to work. So what could I do to turn things around? Well, how about actually turning things around? By the time my dad got home from work I'd made a start on turning my desk around. For four years I've been staring at the same blank wall. That wall has been the scene of many hopeful projections, none of which came true, so perhaps it was time for a change. This is what my view was before:

Turning the desk around has had a few unintended consequences. I feel hemmed in with my chair but, bizarrely, not as hemmed in as I did when I had half the room to kick back in. And, also, I'm now facing my iPod. It's a funny thing, the music coming towards me instead of creeping over my shoulders. It's almost like hearing it anew. This is the low quality version of my desk now:

Of course, Rose and Charlie escape from the reeds in The African Queen. But the reason is largely beyond their control. The rains come, lifting up the boat and transporting it to safety. Maybe that was my meeting yesterday; the thing out of my control that grabbed me and yanked me through. For the moment, I'll ignore the fact that when Rose and Charlie reach safety, they blow up their boat... That may be a metaphor too far right now.

Judy Garland Week: Favourite Films

I'll freely admit that I haven't seen as many Judy films as I should've done. It's a case of waiting for them to come around on television or waiting until I have money enough to buy decent versions. I'd rather wait and watch them properly than watch inferior versions on the internet that would cause my lethargic connection to buckle. So, naturally, there may be better films that I haven't seen yet. But these five are my current favourites.

5. A Star is Born

Although a wonderful film, parts of it are very hard to watch. The famous scene breakdown scene is so intense and raw that you need a sit down after watching it. The interplay between Judy and Mason is brilliant and the musical performances are perfect. Plus, who can forget those closing moments?

4. For Me and My Gal

Judy is at her most vibrant in this film but it's also one with serious undertones. The first time I watched it, even not knowing what was going to happen, the sight of Jo sending her brother off to war set me off crying, and it frequently still does. The partnership of Judy and Gene Kelly should've spawned more films but the three we have are gems. For Me and My Gal marries drama with charm and a good mix of songs - certainly one of her best MGM pieces. 

3. The Harvey Girls

I often state that The Harvey Girls is my favourite film and, in some ways, it is but I thought I'd try and be a little objective with this list. My attachment to The Harvey Girls stems from the first time I saw and adored it and the reasons are, alongside Judy, Angela Lansbury, Marjorie Main and Virginia O'Brien. As far as Judy goes, this film is delightful. She fits the role perfectly, throwing in the right amount of humour and squaring up to Angela Lansbury in some beautiful scenes. The stand-outs for me are the 'hold up' scene where Susan retrieves the meat stolen from the Harvey House and the fight scene where Susan tries in vain to throw a punch. I've already covered my favourite song from The Harvey Girls earlier in the week but special mention has to go to the 'Round and Round and Round' because it pairs Judy with Ray Bolger.

2. I Could Go On Singing

I've only had the good fortune of seeing this once but it made such an impression on me. Judy's last film, crammed full of raw emotion and a couple of musical numbers that blow your socks off. I remember crying at the end, in awe of the role, Judy's talent and the fact that this was the cinematic culmination of it. Well worth a watch.

1. The Wizard of Oz

Again, how could this not be number one? The first Judy film I ever saw and it's one of my go-to films when I'm ill or in need of comfort. Watching Dorothy fly through the sky to Oz is a comfort blanket and it never gets old. How can a film from 1939 be as brilliant today as it was then? The answer is in the portrayal of the protagonist and it's only right that this is Judy's signature role. 

Classic Film Review: Sunset Boulevard (1950)

Sunset Boulevard is widely considered to be one of the best films ever made - and rightly so. It tells the story of impoverished screenwriter Joe Gillis (William Holden) who stumbles across what he thinks is an abandoned old Hollywood mansion. However, it turns out that it's occupied by former star Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) who lives there with her faithful butler Max (Erich von Stroheim). Gillis is persuaded to stay and help Norma finish her screenplay about Salome but he finds it difficult to handle Norma's moods, suicide attempts and her overwhelming desire for him to love her. Complicating matters is Betty Schaefer (Nancy Olson), an aspiring screenwriter he's met and wants to work with on one of his old projects.

This film is a scathing depiction of how Hollywood uses up stars and discards them, as true today as it was sixty years ago. Swanson is nothing sort of magnificent, particularly as the film goes on and she becomes more and more unstable. Her final scene, much discussed, is one of the most powerful scenes in cinematic history. Throughout the film she is suitably startling, every single gesture and facial expression adding to the character portrayal. Erich von Stroheim is equally as captivating as the faithful Max, his own involvement in the finale being almost as nuanced as Swanson's.

And what of William Holden? It's no secret that I have mixed feelings about him (liked him in Sabrina 1954), detested him in Picnic (1955)) but in this film he was ninety percent excellent. Although I found Gillis a difficult character to like, Holden's portrayal of him was just as it should be. Nancy Olson as his love interest was very refreshing in comparison to the rest of the cast - until she finds out the truth she is an antidote to the machinations of Norma and the bleak atmosphere of the mansion.

There are some truly memorable scenes in this films, scenes which have justifiably found their way into the consciousness of classic film fans. The most famous of these is undoubtedly the final one - the staircase scene already mentioned - but others include the bizarre New Year's Eve party where Norma and Gillis dance on an empty floor, the bedroom scene where Gillis finally gives in to Norma, the moment on the film stage where the spotlight hits her and the final confrontation between Norma and Gillis. In fact, most of this film could be considered worthy of memory. Billy Wilder's excellent direction helped to create a masterpiece, one that will be watching over and over again for years to come.

Classic Film Review: The Bad and the Beautiful (1952)

Although Lana Turner is billed first, The Bad and the Beautiful really revolves around Kirk Douglas's character, Jonathan Shields. Shields is a floundering producer who has called upon three people he previously damaged to try and revive his career: director Fred Amiel (Barry Sullivan), actress Georgia Lorrison (Turner) and writer James Lee Bartlow (Dick Powell). They gather together and each tell their own personal stories about why they hate Shields and why they've vowed never to make another film with him. This was directed by Vincente Minnelli and is a scathing look at Hollywood and the people it attracts. What struck me was that this was essentially a male All About Eve (1950) (reviewed here): Shields, like Eve Harrington, is not afraid to stamp all over people to reach the top. That's the lesson we get from his experiences with Fred Amiel and James Lee Bartlow. The lesson from his relationship with Georgia Lorrison is altogether more complicated and provides some of the best scenes of the film.

The performances from all the major players along with Walter Pigeon as Shields's assistant and Gloria Grahame as Bartlow's wife are excellent. There are a few moments with Turner, particularly the car scene, which feel over-acted but she compensates for them in others, specifically the apartment scene when Shields is waiting for Georgia when she gets home drunk and their major confrontation scene at the end of her segment when the argument with Shields takes on a more sinister feeling, exposing layers to his character the viewer hasn't encountered before.

This being a Minnelli piece, the direction is superb with small touches throughout that add to the overall effect. It's a film that treads on thin ice, depicting the industry as vicious and those who inhabit the world as either innocents waiting to be torn to shreds or ruthless people waiting to do the shredding. There are also a couple of interesting scenes involving Douglas and Turner where the former is teaching the latter how to act and to hold an audience. It's little parts like that which make this film so captivating.

This is an exceptionally good film, though I still maintain the leading credit belongs to Douglas. It's the movie behind the movies and, as such, merits a watch for any film fan of the classic era. Beside which, it toys with the audience, bluffing about where it's going to go next. I have to say, though, that Shields gets steadily worse and, unfortunately, it's difficult to turn your head away.

Classic Film Review: They Knew What They Wanted (1940)

They Knew What They Wanted stars Charles Laughton as farmer Tony Patucci who meets waitress Amy (Carole Lombard) in San Francisco and falls instantly in love. However, he isn't very good with words so he asks his employee Joe (William Gargan) to write to her under his name. Amy agrees to leave San Francisco after seeing a picture of Joe and thinking it's Tony. This causes problems when she arrives but what causes more problems is the spark between Joe and Amy, which the latter is more inclined to ignore than face.

This is an odd one. I think I chose a bad film for my first Charles Laughton experience because it's a terrible role - what's meant to be lovable and bumbling comes across as irritating at best. On top of the drawling Italian accent there is the problem of the character referring to himself constantly in the third person. It stopped being amusing after the first few minutes and any childlike qualities the farmer had were certainly not part of his charm. It comes to something when you're rooting for the bad guy to get the girl but that's what I found myself doing at times. The infantile qualities of the character meant that it was hard to believe in Tony's relationship with Amy. Her relationship with Joe, however, was far more believable.

Lombard is certainly the highlight of the film. It's difficult to take your eyes off her when she's on the screen, especially in some of the later scenes where she's trying to hold it together whilst all the time feeling terrible about what she's done. Previously, I've only seen her in comedy so this was a delightful film in that it allowed me to see what a fantastic dramatic actress she could be. William Gargan is also fairly good as Joe, having two dialogue scenes with Father McKee (Frank Fay) first and then, later, the doctor (Harry Carey) which were quite impressive. However, I was disappointed that there was no 'end' scene with Joe and Father McKee which would've been interesting to see following their earlier encounter. To hear about that meeting without actually seeing it felt like a bit of a let-down.

Really, this film should've been so much more than it was. After all, there are some mature themes bandied about here - pregnancy out of wedlock, seduction, forgiveness - but they all fade under the heavy hand of Laughton in this particular role. Lombard may sparkle but, really, that says little about the quality of the film. There are some humorous lines but, I'll admit, I didn't find my heart strings wrung by the oafish Tony Patucci one bit.

Classic Film Review: Sister Kenny (1946)

Sister Kenny is a biopic of the life of Sister Elizabeth Kenny, an Australian bush nurse who discovers an effective treatment for infant paralysis following polio. Sister Kenny (Rosalind Russell) has on her side the pleasant Doctor McDonnell (Alexander Knox) but faces the wrath much of the medical establishment - they don't want to accept her 'dangerous' theories and she spends her entire life trying to fight it. This costs her many things, not least her relationship with Kevin Connors (Dean Jagger).

Of course, this is fictionalised biography and so dramatises certain parts of Kenny's story. However, the bulk of it remains true to the honour of this incredibly persistent woman and it is compelling because of the underlying truth. One aspect that is contentious is the fact that it features no Australian actors but, on balance, it was better to have none that to ruin the film with bad attempts at accents. As it is, the story stands by itself. The backdrop isn't as important as the woman herself.

Rosalind Russell was nominated for an Oscar for this performance (and won a Golden Globe) and there is no doubt she deserved it. She was 29 at the time of filming but progressed through forty years on screen and it wasn't just a question of good lighting, costumes and make-up. She was phenomenal, every movement perfectly suited to both the character and the character's time of life. She became Elizabeth Kenny and that's not always easy, especially when the person you're portraying is still alive. This film succeeds on a dramatic level and perhaps that's the only level that really matters but it's also a sympathetic portrayal. In the end, it doesn't matter if some of it's fiction because it remains true to the woman.

There are a couple of stand-out scenes. When Elizabeth attends her first case and treats the paralysis with hot rags before trying to get the girl's legs moving again the tension in the scene is high. Elizabeth doesn't have the answers, doesn't really know what's going to happen and is fraught with worry whilst trying to keep a lid on it in front of her patients. A wonderful few minutes from Russell. Secondly, the break between Elizabeth and Kevin is subtly acted by Russell and Jagger and doesn't descend into melodrama. Finally, there is the moment when Elizabeth walks into a lecture theatre full of students to confront her biggest antagonist. I won't ruin it but it's really the best scene of the film.

I didn't expect too much from Sister Kenny but I was happily proved wrong. This is an outstanding performance by Rosalind Russell and the sense I get as I'm going along this journey through classic films is that she's going to end up high on my favourite actresses list.

Classic Film Review: Beau Brummell (1954)

Beau Brummell stars Stewart Granger as the title character with Elizabeth Taylor as Lady Patricia and Peter Ustinov as the Prince of Wales. It's a loose historical drama (the final scene between Brummell and the Prince, for instance, is entirely fictionalised) but manages to be enjoyable in places due to its verbal chicanery. This is a rather sedate film but an interesting one.

Brummell, the famous man of fashion, befriends the Prince of Wales after grossly insulting him. His friendship with the future king allows him to gain credit and so he builds up his collection of expensive clothes and objects while redecorating his luxurious home whenever the mood takes him. He also indulges in a little romance with Lady Patricia, already promised to somebody else, and tries to solve the Prince's own romantic difficulties with an unsuitable woman, Mrs Fitzherbert (Rosemary Harris).

Granger's performance is adequate enough but it's Ustinov's performance as the Prince of Wales that proves to be the highlight of the film. Extravagant, childish, frustrated, Ustinov portrays the Prince with more depth than I expected. There are some particularly good scenes involving him: the one that springs to mind is when he goes to see his mad father and is nearly strangled to death. Unfortunately, despite Brummell's flamboyance, Granger pales in comparison to Ustinov and Elizabeth Taylor's performance is also adequate but unremarkable.

This is a drama that thrives on dialogue, some of which is hilarious if you listen carefully enough. It has no pretensions to reality and so makes a coherent film of what seems to be an incoherent time.

...Onwards to 2013

Since I failed many of my goals in 2012 (see here) you might think I'd go easy on myself in 2013. No chance. What follows is an overview of the things I want to get done. Later in the year I'll probably compile another 'traffic light' post since the last one helped me focus my thoughts on what needed doing - even though I didn't do much of it at all in the end! So, here goes nothing...

My PhD is obviously the most important thing in my life. With a little bit of luck I'll be close to completion by the end of the year - or at least I'll have all the blocks in place and just need to rearrange them a bit. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but goals were meant to be challenging.

Related to the above, I want to get some conference experience under my belt. Talking in public is not exactly something I'm good at but it has to be battled at some point and now is that time. I've submitted abstracts for a couple of conferences already but if they don't come off then there's plenty more to have a crack at.

This post details all my major writing projects. In terms of priority for working on this year, I'd put them in this order: 'Lily', 'Danni', 'Liz', 'Lauren', 'Max' and 'Vic' (which is the actual order they were written in the first place!). Realistically, I think I'll only work on the first four of those - although all six would be nice. In addition, I'll try and resist adding new first drafts to my pot (excluding NaNoWriMo).

I'll participate in NaNoWriMo again - provided I have a decent idea come November.

I'm working on a transcription (and introduction) of Edmund Yates's Black Sheep for Valancourt Books (details can be found here). By the end of the year I'd like to have made a huge dent in this - if not have it completely finished and submitted.

Although I'm not quite sure where my work with 2020UK will take me this year but I'll continue working with the group.

I'm not taking part in any reading challenges this year but that doesn't mean I won't be reading! My marvellous Christmas present of a Kindle (thanks to my sister and family) means I've started downloading loads of things I didn't have access to before. Some of them are work related (complete works of Wilkie Collins and some lost texts of Mary Elizabeth Braddon have already found their way onto the list) but others will just be plain fun. In addition, I'll be watching loads of classic films this year as my reward for doing some of the above stuff that looks terrifying in a list like this.

You'll notice all of these are pretty much professional goals. Don't I have any personal ones? Well, no. Let's allow those to melt into the distance and focus on the stuff that's really important.

Two Classic Film Events I'm Participating In

Just wanted to draw your attention to these two excellent events that I'll be participating in during the coming months. The first is the annual writing contest hosted by Film-Classics.com. There are four categories to choose from (and only thirty writers slots available) but I'm probably going to end up in the 'Film Review' category. I could tell you what my topic is but then I'd have to kill you. It's going to be new and in-depth though! The deadline for submissions is 27th July but the judging is a fairly rapid turnaround - well done to them for that!

The second event is the 'What a Character!' blogathon hosted by a trio of sites. This is an event dedicated to those unsung heroes of Hollywood, the character actors whose names have largely disappeared from the Hollywood dictionary. My topic for this one is the marvellous Majorie Main and I'm looking forward to writing about her in three of my favourite films! The schedule on this one is a little more spaced out - the actual blogathon takes place in September so there's still plenty of time to get in on this one if you want to.

I'll keep you posted on how I get on with these but I'll looking forward to reading some fantastic entries about my favourite eras of film.