Last night was the first time I gave up without reaching my personal goal for the day. I'd speculated I could get to 29,000 and I gave up at a paltry 27,821. I'd lost my thirst for writing. Although I knew what my characters were doing (driving to Chelmsford, arguing on the way and when they got there) I just couldn't be bothered trying to force it onto the paper. I was in the rather unique situation of wanting to work on my PhD instead. I can safely say that enthusiasm for that area of my life is new and alarming. But, instead of packing in NaNo for the night, I just stared blankly at the screen for two hours. That was something of a waste of time, don't you think?
Anyway, this morning things got more complicated. I already knew I would have no NaNo time Friday to Sunday (I'm going to see the Smashing Pumpkins in Birmingham on Saturday night). When I arrive back during the day on Monday I have to go straight to a Teaching Assistant lecture in Sheffield which I won't get home from until after six. Then on Tuesday I have an afternoon meeting with my PhD supervisor. Again, I'll be home fairly late. All that was fine and booked in but I got word earlier (via text message of all things) that my great uncle died in hospital late last night. He's been severely ill for the last month or so but it still came as a shock because he's been communicative and coherent. Apparently. I never went to see him in hospital. As a consequence of his death, I don't feel much like writing right now. To be honest, the weekend away is feeling like a burden I could do without. I'm concerned about my grandmother (his sister) who was widowed three years ago and has obviously had a close relationship with her little brother all his life. I feel like I need to support her but I don't know how. All I do know is that Ken has been around all my life and has been very interested in me and my education. He was a gentle man and he will be greatly missed by his close and extended families.
We'll see what happens next week. In a few days I might want to hide in my NaNo to get away from the real world. We'll see. For now I hope that everyone else participating is struggling through okay.
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